so what do you do when you think someone is not being fully honest with you? as i see it, there are three approaches
1) straight up confrontation - can get ugly, but does get the truth out
2) give a somewhat cold shoulder, "aloof" if you will, don't be friendly but don't be unfriendly, show that something is wrong
3) complete cutoff
i've never been a fan of #2, mainly because i never think other people will understand the subtlety involved here, and also because 1 and 3 are more interesting, if more alienating. what do you think?
i wish people would stop being so full of shit.
a question
0159-february11-2003
comments
re: I second that
from: Ajay (2003-02-13 20:35:51)
First method really is the best method. Though outright confrontation with you being a bitch (yes, you) isn't the best approach either.
re: There is more to it...
from: Eric (2003-02-13 21:40:33)
I disagree with your last 2 approaches. First of all, before any decision regarding approaches can be made, the situation and severity of the dishonesty must be taken into account. As I see it, there is major distinction between what should be done given the nature of the situation.
1) If its not a big deal, you can let it slide.
2) If it is a big deal, you must confront.
If someone is being dishonest you should let them know. I see approaches 2 and 3 from the original post as simply being another method of confrontation (approach 1). Giving someone the cold shoulder and showing that something is wrong or cutting someone off is just adding complication. Its like saying, "I'm upset about something you did, but I'm gonna make you come make me tell you."
In the end regardless of what approach you choose the ultimate goal is still the same. Why beat around the bush? Although timing is important, there is no reason to play games. Resolution will come from honesty on your part as well...isn't that what you were mad about in the first place?
re: eric's response
from: niv (2003-02-14 18:08:54)
eric's response is funny - because
1) it sounds like a dear abby meets fortune cookie
well thats really the only reason its funny. it's also really well thought out, and i dig it. he calls out everyone else... well done!
re: response
i must say i use #2 the most. because at most times i find myself to be a pussy. but that doesnt make it right. #1 is probably the best, although it is hard for nice, sensitive guys such as myself to pull off. other people that i know, though, have no problem there. and #3 is just mean and doesnt resolve anything. because you still do have to deal with them at some point. and the longer you wait, the worse it gets.