not really... but

so saturday ryan had a little intern shindig at 25 warner. if you recall, last year's intern party at 25 warner brought the po-po, and ryan was hellbent on continuing that, turning it into a tradition, if you will. anyways, after an epic ncaa football game between thad and parker, thoughts turned towards beirut, or at least they did for asian and phil (sidenote: phil wants to be called doughboy. granted, the jelly moniker has not "stuck", but doughboy? i dunno. (further sidenote: he interchanges requests to be called 'doughboy' with requests to be called doughman. :sigh:)). so asian and phil go downstairs to start playing beirut, and thad and i sit upstairs with urs and parker (maybe?) watching tv or some such nothingness. we were bored and didn't exactly have the urge to drink.

so thad and i get tired of looking at each other, and urs starts playing zelda, so we go downstairs to see whats going on. amidst the general party murmur, nay, roar, nay, something in between murmur and roar, i heard some girl say "sorry about my pants being off, i had to pee and i didn't want to go upstairs". thad claims she was making a funny, i claim that she made a wee-wee.

we get into the kitchen, where we watch a couple rounds of drunk kerry interns deride asian and jelly doughman for playing video games while at the same time completely getting destroyed by the new team dynasty/destiny (that's asian and phil, for the uninformed) - which led me to believe that all kerry interns suck. hehe, just making sure you're paying attention, ryan. no, i like kerry, just that one pee girl wasn't my fave.

so thad and i are watching, and thad asked me if we could go to my house, which was strange, because we were in my house, so i asked him "cleveland?" he said "i'd go to cleveland", and then someone said something stupid, and then someone else (possibly me, since nobody else claimed responsibility for it) said "let's go to foxwoods".

dun dun dunnnnnnnnnn

you have to realize that it was probably 11:15pm by this time.

that's all you have to realize.

so everyone signed on immediately (meaning phil, parker, asian, me, thad). ryan was way too trashed and was, lest you forget, hosting a party, so he was out. we started getting ready, discussing who would drive and whatnot, when nick threw his hat into the "let's go to foxwoods at midnight on saturday" camp. now there were six of us, warranting 2 cars, one would think. nick and parker decided on taking nick's car and fitting all 6 of us in there, but for the sake of comfort and ursula, we ended up taking 2 cars and ursula.

act II
players: thad, drunk asian, urs, niv
location: niv's car, somewhere on 95-S

the car ride down was fun, because thad and jon and i talked sports and jon was really drunk and playing indian poker with thad. once we got into connecticut and took exit 92 i started getting real excited, because that first time you see foxwoods, its just fucking beautiful.

an important part of this plan/adventure's success, which i have ignored up to this point, even though it was central to everything up to this point, was thad's ability to get onto the casino floor. now, thad doesn't look particularly young; in fact, he looks as old as anyone else i hang out with, which is in the nebulous 20-22 range. however, you might be aware of the fact that until this saturday, the lad is only 19. the rest of us on this trip are 21 (or in the case of me, 22), and so we had to devise a plan solely based on thad. jon presented 3 wonderful scenarios, which now that i think about it, i shouldn't really post here on the internet. regardless, thad got onto the floor without a problem, but he didn't gamble at all. in fact, i just lied, thad wasn't with us the whole time. he was never there. you can't prove otherwise.

god, this post is getting long. i was feeling verbose and storyteller-ish at the beginning, but now i'm kind of dragging, which is unfortunate, since i am just now hitting the foxwoods portion of our adventure. perhaps i shall make this a 5-act mofo.

act III
players: the cast
location: foxwoods

once we got to the second casino and found the low-limit craps table ($5!), we were set. we started playing around 1:30 or 1:45, i'd guess. we didn't stop til 4. jon won very little, and everyone else lost (nobody lost too badly), but it was a lot of fun. urs liked craps, which is impressive. phil and nick were betting all over the place. i had a great first roll (second roll kinda sucked). urs and thad and nick all won the slots too, at first. but then they lost it all by the end, which is fun, cuz the slots money used was just change we found around the house. regardless, we had a great time. parker was upset (as he should be) at the lack of $5 blackjack tables - which led us to want to go on a weekday next time (perhaps we shall wait until the school year?). it was really great that nick, phil, thad, and urs all had good experiences in their first real casino trip.

best moment while actually on the game floor: someone set a point of 6 on the table, and someone else bet on hardways. now, what this means is - we want a roll of six to win, and a roll of double 3s so that other guy can win on his "hardways" at the same time. or at least thats how i think it works, i never bet hardways so i don't mess with it. anyways, the guy who rolled had two buddies with him, and they started chanting "lar-ry, lar-ry, lar-ry". get it? 6. 3+3. thirty-three. bird.

act IV
players: the cast
scene: parking garage

the only reason i mention this part was the appearance of phil/jelly/doughman/doughnut's alter-ego, captain pissy. nick invented him earlier in the night. yarr!!!

also, act IVs are always short and somewhat pointless.

act V
players: niv, urs, thad, jon
location: my car, somewhere on 95-N

i was falling asleep, so i sat in the back with jon while urs drove. jon and i had a deep political conversation about how fucking stupid and dishonest gwb is, and how afraid we are of the direction our country is going. thad pointed out that we had to be tired because we were talking about that crap. i sorta passed out, someone mentioned 'burger time' and thad said something about driving all the way down route 1 to florida.

we got back, and right before i passed out in my bed, there was a sighting of a girl leaving ryan's room. i guess his party turned out alright. (sidenote: please realize that this girl passed out on his futon, nothing more)

this post was like shakespeare, in that it started off real strong and verbose, but soon plot took over. and i wrote it all in iambic pentameter. hehe