the decemberists

1521-may26-2005
i want to punch the decemberists.

why?

because they deserve to be punched

you hear the name of the band... and you hope against hope for amazing indie music based on historical events. and you get amazing track one, with lyrics like:
Among five score pachyderm
each canopied and passengered
sit the duke and the duchess' luscious young girls
within sight of the baronness
seething spite for this live largesse
by her side sits the baron
her barrenness barbs her
and we'll all come praise the infanta
and we'll all come praise the infanta
and its really upbeat and you're like "damn this is going to be a review of the russian revolution from 1800 onward in popmusic form

then it gets really wussy and acoustic rock belle and sebastian craptastic... and you're about to sign off

and then comes "16 military wives", which is also upbeat, but not as historically based, but still amazing
16 Military wives
32 softly focused, brightly colored eyes.
Staring at the natural tans
Of 32 gently clenching wrinkled little hands
17 company men
Out of which only 12 will make it back again
Sergeant sends a letter
To 5 military wives as tears drip down
From ten little eyes
Cheer them on to their rivals
Because America can and America can't say no
And America can if America says it's so.
And the anchor person on TV goes
"La di da di da di diddy diddy da.
La di da di da di diddy diddy da."

amazing stuff
but not russian stuff... which would have been a sick theme
but still...

and then 3-4 more tracks of crap

and you're really about to stop and go over to something with balls
and then you start up on the mariner's revenge song
We are two mariners
Our ships' sole survivors

In this belly of a whale

Its ribs are ceiling beams
Its guts are carpeting
I guess we have some time to kill

You may not remember me
I was a child of three
And you, a lad of eighteen

But I remember you
And I will relate to you
How our histories interweave


and you're in the middle of that song
and you get to work

AND YOU FUCKING WANT TO PUNCH THE DECEMBERISTS

most frustrating band ever.

i'm 99% sure everyone i know will like them. except geoff, of course.

comments

re: cause geoff hates evertyhing

from: chad (2005-05-27 08:17:31)

also, niv, do you know a lot of bands who put out full albums based on what most americans would consider obscure political events? i mean, all of nirvana's work isn't a study in eastern religion. not everything led zeppelin wrote was about a dirigible. so i think your hopes for an album that could sit in for a russian history text put you in a bad place to start

re: comment

from: niv (2005-05-27 12:33:17)

i mean
this band is clearly going for something
with their songs
and they are halfway
to what i hoped

also they are indie through and through. nirvana wasn't indie in this sense, and led zeppelin wasn't indie in any sense. sooo i think my hopes were reasonable. and i also think the proper resposne is for me to make an album based on the rise and fall of the soviet union. from a worker's perspective.

or something.

re: from emailer

from: anonymous (2005-05-29 13:25:29)

i'll see your jab at s + g, and raise you this -- the decemberists' manager is my roommate.

re: comment

from: niv (2005-05-29 15:17:51)

i'll see your brush with fame and raise you this - next time you see them, tell them that they could be better

re: comment

from: niv (2005-05-28 18:36:01)

"but what bothers me is that i think they rip off other bands. for example, neutral milk hotel. first of all, they sound way similar. also, the decemberists, as you point out, pepper their lyrics with snippets of history. whereas neutral milk has actually managed to make a full-fledged historical album on anne frank.

most annoying is that there's definite potential there. but unfortunately, all of the attention they're getting isn't going to push them to go above and beyond what they've got now. "

that's from an email i received
i'll see your reference to neutral milk and raise you this - the decemberists sound like simon and garfunkel meets elevator musak

re: listen to...

from: ira (2005-06-01 21:03:24)

their other albums 'her majesty the decemberists' or 'castaways and cutouts.' i personally like her majesty the best, you can't beat the songs 'billy liar' and 'los angeles i'm yours.'

picaresque? eh, guess i'm shantied out, it was a little much for me.

pick up some olivia tremor control in addition to that neutral milk hotel if you know whats good for you. niv, you'll like it, i promise... start with 'music from the unrealized film script...' and rock out.

re: comment

from: niv (2005-05-28 10:42:16)

in case you cared, the mariner's revenge song is sweet

and the stuff after it sucked.

re: well..

from: ken (2005-05-26 22:12:11)

i think the correct thing to do here, is IM me. Or maybe, i'll IM you.

re: WTF

from: David The Mob (2006-10-31 10:09:30)

ok i dunno if niv will ever look at this again but i gotta say this NIV FOR SOMEONE INTO INDIE YOU SOUND LIKE A FRIGIN EMO KID JUST SHUT UP AND LISTEN TO THE MUSIC MAN ITS GOOD I KNOW I CAN HEAR IT RIGHT NOW SO SHUT UP AND LISTEN WERE NOT LISTENING TO MUSIC TO LEARN ABOUT THE RUSSIAN REAVOLTION THATS WHAT A FRIGIN HISTORY BOOK IS FOR ITS MUSIC IT PLAYS IT BEATS IT SINGS IT STRUMS NOW YOUR PART IS TO LISTEN NOW SHUT UP AND DO IT

 

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