saturday night, i went out with nick, phil, and ken. we went down to harvard/comm after having a couple of drinks in my apartment. i was fairly buzzed.

i had to stop at the atm for a minute, and there were 3-4 people sitting on the sidewalk just to the right of the atm entrance. "spare change?" one asked us. i said i didn't have anything. everyone else ignored them.

"maybe on the way out?"
"i'll see what i can do"

now, atms spit out twenty dollar bills. occasionally tens. or in vegas, hundreds. they do not spit out quarters or singles. i did have a few dollars on me, however, and after getting some money from the atm, i thought about it, and took out a dollar. i asked if anyone else wanted to give money to that guy outside. i have no idea if phil or ken said anything (as i mentioned, i was buzzed at the time) but nick did say that he wasn't a fan of giving money to homeless people.

anyways, we went out, i gave the man a dollar, he told me he loved me, i might have returned the love, and we went on our way.

nick told me that he once gave money to someone who was homeless, and that he later saw that guy in a restaurant he was working in getting a drink.

i think i started singing "mr. wendell" and then told him that homeless people need alcohol way more than any of us did. he accepted that, but then we started talking about arrested development (the band, not the show).

so anyways, i wasn't sober and i gave the guy a buck.

big deal.

freshman year one time, jen and i went to dinner in porter square and after dinner we were walking around and a guy asked me for some money. i told him i didn't have any, and he told me that he was homeless and he had to sleep on the streets that night and he just wanted enough money to buy a pack of cigarettes. now, maybe i did this because i was in front of jen or whatever, but i gave that guy a $5.

i just had a huge sushi meal. this guy wanted $5 so he could have a pack of smokes for the night... or maybe he wanted $5 for crack. or malt liquor. who gives a shit? the guy needed $5, and that $5 would make him (temporarily) much happier than it would make me. or at least, that's what i figured right then.

anyways, i think overall i'm pretty comfortable occasionally giving money to homeless people. i'm fine with giving a dollar regularly i think, and $5 in the extreme situation where the guy will engage me in conversations about angela lansbury (i vaguely recall this happening, but i don't remember the details).

on the drive in to work every day, there is at least one person who stands in the median near a stoplight, holding a sign up asking for help to all the commuters going into and out of alewife. i always want to pull down the window and give a dollar. or some change. or something. but i never do. i do the awkward 'look-away-but-not-really' when they walk by my car, and i always am half-pulling towards yelling "hey, here's a dollar... no in fact, naw, here's two"

i know i'm going to see that person for at least a few more days. am i going to give this person $20-$30 over the course of a month just because they are always there? am i going to feel obligated every single time?

i really think i should feel that way. i think that this is the right thing to do. i should give them $20-$30 over the course of a month. helping another person is definitely worth that trivial amount of money.

so i guess on monday, if i'm stopped and there is a person at that median, i will be giving them a dollar or some change or something. anything to help them get through the night.