and no, it doesn't involve pronouncing the word 'banal'
though your thoughts on that are appreciated
so i have a pretty swanky cube, near a window and down at the end of a less-travelled aisle. around this time every day (3 or so EST) i get the hankerin' for a little sugary snack. now, about 30 seconds away, there is a vending machine and a water cooler. easy enough, yeah? the options are the always trusty snickers bar, an equally trusty but slightly less delicious bag of peanut m&ms, the incredibly boring and overrated crunch bar, and the butterfinger crisp, which is a new candy bar that is pretty good, though going into detail about its makeup would be a whole seperate, banal post.
so those are the basic choices i have at this candy repository. not too bad, with sufficient variety for me, i think. however, today i made a discovery that may have changed all that.
so where i work isn't a huge fan of personal packages being sent to the workplace. like an idiot, i had two personal packages sent from adidas.com to the workplace, leaving me with a stern warning and a trip down to the first floor to recover the packages. the contents of the packages were a pair of sandals for both me and jen, as well as these two track jackets. and before you say anything, i didn't notice the backs before i ordered them, though i'm still not opposed to the jackets and are in fact quite fond of them. BUT I DIGRESS.
so i went downstairs to pick up the second of the two packages today, after assuring the powers that be that i wouldn't do it again. this walk is a good minute and a half - it's not exorbitant, but it's lengthy. also, it involves going right by the employee gym, which i frequent. this is relevant for the sole reason that i know the trainer who is in charge down there. just keep that in mind. anyways, the gym is on my right, i walk by and notice a vending machine that i simply would never see on my normal travels around rsa. sure, i work with some guys downstairs, but really there is absolutely no way i would walk right past this vending machine. it is in no-man's land, between two groups of workers and two sets of elevators, if you can envision it in your mind's eye (oooOOOooo). so yeah, just located awfully. after i secure the package, which now that i think about it would be the only reason to ever past by this vending machine, i take a glance and notice this - 2 of the choices are twixes, and i think (but can't be sure) that there are the rarely seen rolos in there. i thought about stopping to go back and look, but the gym (see, i told you it would matter) and wanting to flee the entire package operation (since i was a jerk) made me vote against stopping.
so now i know of a machine that contains twix. and rolo. it looked fairly well-stocked. and it's out of my way and a good 3 times as long to get to as my normal vending machine.
so i pose this to you, as you've struggled this far and you might as well have an opening to call me an ass: is it worth going downstairs, in full view of the gym guy, to a vending machine that no one could reasonably go to unless they worked on the first floor in order to secure candies that are either incredibly rare (rolo) or incredibly delicious (twix)? i'm leaning no, but if i can find an alternate route possibly involving a hidden staircase, i'm willing to reconsider.
thanks for indulging me.
another banal dilemma
1458-february16-2006
comments
re: praise safety (and cabot's banality about it)
from: ken (2006-02-16 15:44:32)
you can always pass it off as ergonomics. You're supposed to get up and walk about and break up your day anyway, a few minute walk will doya good.
re: CRY HAVOC!!!!!!
from: =z (2006-02-16 16:50:59)
...and let slip the dogs of war
make an announcement
commandeer the loudspeaker and broadcast it far and wide
let no rsa employee be they male, female, trainer, or puppy, hold you down
there stands only one purpose in this life for a man such as yourself and that is to AGGRESSIVELY seek out all that you may want DARE I SAY NEED in whatever far reaching corners of the globe in which in may preside
first floor
second floor
fifth floor
cambodia
in a small lean-to hut with a dirt floor and a corrugated tin roof on the side of a rutted dirt road in jamaica, presided over by a one eyed witch doctor who calls you Jamba and puts a hex on your entire family
LET THERE BE NO CREATURE THAT STANDS BETWEEN THIS MAN AND HIS TWIX!!!
to say nothing of the elusive rolos MY GOD is there ANY QUESTION
let the trainer question your devotion to the cause for it validates his whole reason for being, that sneaky bastard
say: "you can pretend you don't want me to eat the rolos but i know your game and it is FARCE sir!!" then proceed to devour as much of said candy as you can in plain view of his face JUDGE YOURSELF, TRAINER is what you'll say and he'll shudder with self-realization so clear that he may change his name and start peforming interpretive dance for pocket change on a side street in Paris
and so it goes
keep your friends close and your enemies closer
embrace this cosmic gift
and let not the reality you've taken as legitimate dictate to you
no
redefine that reality with a previously unrealized clarity and strength
and the universe will bend to your will
re: a more reasonable answer
from: chad (2006-02-21 21:09:35)
1) the walk will do you good...when i need "something sweet" i go downstairs to get frozen yogurt rather than around the corner to a crappy vending machine with snickers and m&m's. and keep in mind that my "downstairs" is about a ten minute trip away, covering a solid 62 floors.
2) if anyone questions you, you just point out that twix dunks on snickers. that should be clear enough
3) if anyone questions you, you can shove a whole twix in your mouth to avoid answering them. havent you ever seen the twix commercials?
re: comment
yes.
-you cannot be afraid of the gym guy. he isn't there to judge you so just forget about it. plus he probably eats candy sometimes too.
-how many people do you know who work on the first floor? probably not that many. so chances are they don't know you and don't know that you're going out of your way for candy. some of them might scope out your vending machine, unbeknownst to you.
-twix and rolo have caramel, and are quite good.