i've been annoying the crap out of zach for the last 2-3 weeks. i've been sending him quotes from tao of poker, a blog which is, amongst poker bloggers, considered one of the best-written most interesting spots on the internet. the reason i have been sending quotes to zach from this site is because, simply, i think the writing is terrible. at first it was a sanity check, because the comments are filled with admiring readers that are all shocked that the author of said blog, a "dr. pauly", has never been published.

once i realized i wasn't insane, it really turned into a morbid obsession with the awfulness of dr. pauly's writing. i'm not at all claiming for a second to be good, but i can recognize poor, emotionless, repetitive, boring tripe as much as the next guy. the terribleness is really multiplied by a factor of ten when dr. pauly writes about how he can't believe he hasn't been published and that the powers that be are afraid of him so they are blocking him out.

puh-leeze. if his shit would sell, someone would publish him. i didn't have to tell you that, though.

anyways, you can feel free to go read his blog if you dare, but i finally goaded zach into commenting on his blog. the reason it required goading is because we both knew that attempting to 'enlighten' dr. pauly was futile, because he has enough fans to rebuild his ego from any attacks on his skills as a writer. however, the writing just got to the point where it was too bad. just too, too bad. here then is zach's comment, in full.

one of the most interesting anthropological side effects of the internet has been the birth of the weblog. its fascinating to see the countless multitude of computer users out there suddenly given a voice and pulpit that would have been beyond their wildest dreams fifteen years ago.

as the fate of the published word hangs in the balance we have to consider what it may mean to future generations to live in a world where there is no filter between the writer and the reader. in the past and still today, publishing companies where the keymasters to the written word. they existed for a reason and filled their purpose arguably as best they could. of course good writers fell through the cracks, and clearly bad writers have been published. but for almost the entire history of the written word there has been a culturally accepted standard set by an industry that while not always caring about literary quality, most certainly cared about sales.

but no more.

now anyone from a twelve year old kid who got a D- in his english class, to a sixty year old man who cut his literary teeth on the leatherbound editions of old and has only recently learned how to work a computer, can fill up the internet with whatever thought crosses their minds, however culturally insignificant.

i raise these issues after having been led to your site by a friend so morbidly obsessed with your writings that it concerns me from time to time.
i steer clear of blogs as much as i can, but i've been led to some recently. some very good. some very bad. and i have to say. of ALL the hack bloggers out there shelling out mind numbing self-indulgent long winded crap, you are, by far, the worst of the worst.

this is some of the most terrible writing i've ever read in my entire life. made worse by your apparent belief that "no talent" writers with "zero imagination" are "stealing your vernacular and style" WHEN YOUR ENTIRE VOICE AND STYLE IS A CHEAP POORLY THOUGHT OUT COPY OF BETTER WRITERS.

the fact that you have to balls to refer to gonzo writers in the same breath as yourself without fearing that people will draw the obviously negative comparison is shocking.

i mean
seriously
are you kidding
or are you crazy?

i'm forced to bring this to your attention because all the people that comment here do nothing but stoke the fires of your sadly delusional self image.

i know nothing about poker. you might be one of the best poker players in the world. if you are, i suggest you divert your energies there because i do know writing, and you are really, really, really, really, really bad.

(see how i repeated myself unneccesarily there? take note)

there is a reason publishers won't publish your work. its bad. and one day when the written word is long dead and rotten, we'll look back at who and what killed it, and there we will see the blog, and a picture of your face.

at least you'll be famous for that.
involved reader | 06.27.06 - 1:00 pm

just call me morbidly obsessed.

thanks for indulging me.

UPDATE
gotta give both sides to every story. here's dr. pauly's response to zach's tirade

Hey Douchebag aka "involved reader":

Be a real man and leave your name instead of an anonymous flame.

I'll be at the Rio for the next two months if you'd like to have this conversation face-to-face. I don't expect you to show up to say the things you said because you are a coward who is too afraid to leave his real name.

I usually delete anonymous comments, but in this case I'm gonna leave it up as proof to the world that you are indeed a jealous nimrod who has nothing better to do than trash me and my writing.

It's pathetic people like you that I make fun of when I'm at stripclubs and partying with my friends.

Have a good life. And I suggest you up your dosage of Prozac.
Pauly | Homepage | 06.27.06 - 2:32 pm | #