airport to mgm
asian mentions something about a few big d democrat presidential candidates coming to vegas on saturday to talk about health care, and that it might be interesting to see. a fairly innocuous comment. the cab driver calls hillary clinton a "dyke bitch," causing asian to say that if that's what all the locals think about her, it might be even MORE interesting to see that.

mgm to caesar's
some serious quotables from this guy:
"i'm not italian, i'm albanian. if i was italian i'd own a casino, instead i drive a taxi."
"i work, my wife gambles, but what are you gonna do? you hit her, you go to jail. you kill her, and you have to go through what oj went through. he's my hero. that pussy makes you do fucked up things"
and
"i get 19% commission. i don't have enough money to buy a rope to hang myself"

downtown to mgm
this guy looked a lot like farva from super troopers. he talked up new construction with parker, but the best part was when he said he hoped to be out of vegas soon and how he just had a vision that he moved to australia. how did he know it was australia?
"i was in the desert and it wasn't las vegas. i ran into some guy and he told me it was australia. then i saw some kangaroos."
that might be my favorite dream explanation ever. we told him it was a vision quest and he had to go to australia now.

caesar's to mgm
"fuck you, fatass" - the best driver in terms of getting us from point a to point b

i am missing some details and some cabbies, and i'll leave all that up to thad/parker/etc to fill in.

update
i found this story funny, but i think this might be so 'inside' that only 4 people will fully appreciate it. it really doesn't deserve its own post, so this is for those 4 people: a story about a little shopping excursion i had....

to tiffany's.

i went there one day with asian because he wanted to take a look around and, you know, i've been told by certain people's girlfriends that tiffany is amazing. so we walked through and i wasn't that impressed and then i saw a little stacker ring that was kind of nice. i asked asian how much he thought it was and he said he was unsure. i guessed, and then we left.

and then i thought about it and went back with asian the next day and asked to look at the ring. it ended up being exactly how much i thought it was and jen did mention that she wanted a thin ring like that so i went ahead and got it.

so now i'm carrying a tiffany bag around las vegas - two dealers at the bellagio asked if it was for my girlfriend or my mom and then said they could take it off of me. random girls came up to me and thanked me for the present. some other girls started squeaking when i walked by "tiffany! tiffany!" etc.

so, brand recognition on tiffany is better than expected (take that, everyone who argued with angela (GEOFF)).

also, jen likes the ring.