part 1. part 2. parts 3 and 4.

i'm not going to lie - part 5 is the shortest part. it's also my personal favorite.

geoff and i were on some street in d.c., on our own after being booted out of a cab. two random guys were smoking cigarettes right where we were and asked us what happened. we told him, and our suspicions were confirmed - everyone has piled 5 deep into the back of a cab in their life at least once. in fact, one of the smokers said "i think i've done that a million times", to which i responded "if by a million you mean a billion, then yes."

he did not disagree. also, this was funny for some reason.

geoff was on the road trying to hail a cab. one finally stopped, and in the back of the mind i knew there was something i should remember, but it wasn't clicking. the cab already had one person in the back, but he said he'd still take us. perhaps common practice in DC? (NOTE: i am not linking to 'go aggressive' again, you guys all know where it is.) geoff opens up the back door, and the current rider said "you better make it worth my while" to either the cabbie or to geoff, i am not sure. geoff isn't sure either, because i had remembered what i had to remember:
"how much money do you have?"
"$3"
"get out of the cab, we only have $3."

geoff complied and we regrouped. a 7-11 existed across the street, and we made our way over and i got stuck with the $5 combined atm fee. hailing another cab went smoother than expected, and the cabbie knew where five was, so neither of us were obligated to remember where we were going.

we pull up to this club and there are 20-30 people crowded around the front. geoff and i both don't like our chances, and as geoff went over to the curb to call drew and tell him we weren't going to make it inside, i took my shot at getting into the club. i worked my way to the front to see 3 guys getting in to the club. a girl is on my right with a ridiculously low cut shirt. the main bouncer asks another bouncer if she is ok, and he immediately looks at her and says no. this might become relevant later. two seconds later, the bouncer points at me, i signal 2, and he waves me in. geoff cuts in front of 15 people to get in with me, and then a 3rd bouncer inside the club almost killed me for not paying the cover charge. but, somehow, we were in.

what a mistake.

this place was ridiculously loud, so conversation wasn't going to happen. i obviously had/have no interest in 'dancing' or whatever it is the kids do these days. speaking of kids, someone asked me, a brown unshaven person standing against the wall and looking at no one in particular, if i was 'holding'. i said no, but later wondered what it was that i should have been holding. i'm guessing ecstasy, but maybe there's something newer and more designer-y out there.

the fact that we immediately ran into drew, emily, stacy, and allie was a miracle.

after about a hour, geoff had made some progress with emily, but i was sitting on the side with allie and stacy, and stacy was clearly bored out of her mind. allie was doing the ironic dancing thing, but i wasn't that amused. frankly, i was f'n tired. so, emily recognizes the plight of her friends and heads out with them and geoff. geoff tells me to go find drew, who apparently got lost at some point. so, i head back in, and i somehow (a second miracle) find drew immediately. drew grabbed my arm and said "did you see what just happened?" i didn't, and he was disappointed and a little shaken. i'd only find out why later.

stacy was obviously the driving force behind the girls going back to the hotel, and no one could really blame her. emily forced her number or email address or something on to geoff, and they were off. geoff and drew got right into the next cab, but they had to wait for me because i was talking to a homeless person about... nothing in particular. i gave him $5 for some reason, which i regretted. geoff and drew regretted that i even talked to him. anyway, i got in the cab, and the night out was over.

we got back to the apartment around 4:30am, but we didn't get to sleep until 6am. a lot of the conversation isn't worthy or appropriate for repeating, but we did find out why drew was upset when i came to get him and possibly why the girl next to me in line didn't get into the club.

drew was working on two girls away from geoff and emily, so as to not disturb that budding romance. out of the corner of his eye he sees another girl come up to him aggressively and immediately thinks that she is out of his league. she starts dancing with him, and he figures that she's trying to make another guy jealous. after some aggressive dancing, aggressive groping, and aggressive kissing, she walks away from drew. (to be clear: she did all of the aggressive things.) as she is walking away she said "meet me off the dance floor."

say that aloud...

in your best michael clark duncan.

my theory is that this 'girl' was the same one that tried to get into the club when i was witness. my theory continues that this club was opposed to transsexuals in their mists, and someone somewhere slipped up.

at 6am, when i finally got into trilling's bed (due to my legendary status, i got the bed for the night over geoff), i had been up for over 24 hours straight. still got it.

next, part 6: the finale.